“If at first you don't succeed, hey, maybe don't worry worry about it. You can always give it another bash tomorrow”. Not everything in life has to be an inspirational quote, an Instagram-able moment or a contest.

But everyone loves an inspirational quote, right?

Our world and in particular our social media feeds seem to be full of 'inspirational' messages.

I mean seriously. I was only trying to be a bit healthier or try something new and suddenly this kind of jazz has me pegged into a psychological winner takes all battle for survival. And why does it always feel like there is some kind of mysterious enemy on the other side of these quotes? I can't speak for everyone but most people I know are basically decent humans and more likely to cheer me on in any endeavour of self-improvement as opposed to beat me down and revel in my failure.

So here's an example;

I just finished a 30 day yoga challenge. Yay, go me!

Ok, so I did start it on the 2nd of January!

Is all or nothing the only way?

Now there are people out there who might sniff at that, think I've wasted my time with my feeble attempt; but do you know what, yay me anyway! I'll take that. That's still 30 days (albeit not in a row) when I gave something a go and even felt a little bit better for it.

So why do we get so sucked in to this idea of all or nothing? Why do we convince ourselves that we have to go all in and anything else is failure? And how does this affect our motivation if we aren't able to live up to our own dizzying expectations?

In fact there's actually a psychological phenomena called the what the hell effect which suggests this kind of self-imposed pressure could be a really bad idea.

Well I guess one more won’t hurt..

The what the hell effect was first described in relation to dieting (1) when people seemed to exhibit one of two extreme behaviours. At times they seemed able to strictly adhere to their diet and consume only a very limited number of calories, but at others times the diet would go out of the window and they would eat as much as they wanted; rarely was there anything in between. This all or nothing response arises from feelings of guilt, disappointment and ultimately failure once we break a commitment to ourselves, which drive us to think: well what the hell, I've already failed so I might as well go crazy. The effect has also been demonstrated in other areas of life too, such as what we spend (2), as well as what we eat (3).

Say ‘No’ to the what the hell effect

On the flip side however, it has been shown that letting ourselves off the hook can keep our overindulgences to a minimum (4) and make it more likely we'll get back on track.

So how about giving yourself a break this weekend if you aren’t perfect in every way? Even better tell those you love to give themselves a break too, especially in these tough times that we find ourselves facing. Do what you can today, then do what you can tomorrow; but if you miss a day, don't let the what the hell effect take over. This is NOT a failure, it’s just an unexpected bank holiday in your process. Let yourself enjoy the break, then get back on that metaphorical horse ready to go again.

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(1) Herman, C. P., & Mack, D. (1975). Restrained and unrestrained eating. Journal of Personality, 43, 646–660.

(2) Zemack-Rugar, Y., & Corus, C. (2018). The effects of anticipated goal-inconsistent behaviour on present goal choices. Psychol. Mark., 1–20.

(3) Kronick, I., et al. (2011). Compensatory Beliefs and intentions contribute to the prediction of calorie intake in dieters. Appetite, 57, 435-438.  Polivy, J., & Herman, C. P. (1985). Dieting and binging: A causal analysis. American Psychologist, 40, 193–201.

(4) Herman, C. P., Polivy, J., Pliner, P., & Vartanian, L. R. (2019). What Happens When We Overeat?. In Social Influences on Eating (pp. 163-179). Springer, Cham